As of now we’re already a little bit into the New Year, which for a lot of us means that we’ve already failed our resolutions. I myself ended up not completing half of the goals I set last year. NBD. Don’t sweat it. On the other hand, I ended up figuring out a system that helps me get through each week. The reason I don’t normally make year end goals is because disappointment can be harsh if you don’t make it the way you wanted to.
The good news, though, is that I was finally able to get to a place where I was being reasonable with myself in regards to not meeting expectations. That’s the hardest part of setting goals: dealing with yourself after you don’t make it all the way. Some people just don’t. It might not be their fault or maybe it was but that’s beside the point. The point is, whatever the reason is (unless you were being a dillhole) it’s all okay and it’s easily something to learn from. These are four ways that I’ve been able to make it through the week.
First and foremost, clear out. All the time. Not just in the beginning of the month or the end of the year. Anytime you have a minute, get rid of all the junk. That includes mail subscriptions (both snail and electronic), things that you know you don’t need but are nice to have, wardrobe no matter how much nostalgia they bring (or upcycle into a quilt or something). Decluttering your life helps to declutter your mind, giving you that much more headspace to think about other things – like taking a poop and cooking dinner.
Check in with yourself
Don’t be too shy to ask yourself how you’re doing. Take some time throughout the day to see how you’re feeling and then figure out what you need & how much time you have to give it to yourself. Sometimes you need a little prayer or meditation in the middle of your day. It might seem like losing time but this could greatly affect how you function for the rest of the day.
This can also include tracking when you go to the bathroom, meals, water consumption. Sometimes we forget to take care of basic human needs, that’s an understatement. It might seem insignificant but knowing how your body is functioning tells you your needs and that’s serious pay off in terms of taking care of your body.
Set weekly goals (attainable goals)
Give meaning to your goals. Maybe your doctor is telling you to eat more fiber and yeah yeah yeah it’s healthy for you but what does that mean for you?
Each goal should be personal and purposeful. This is not a checklist or a to do list. Weekly goals are small ways of self improvement that you can work on little by little. It’s easier to track progress this way and your goals don’t seem as daunting. I do my weekly goals by setting three areas of improvement: body, mind and soul. Sometimes, I have goals for all three, sometimes two. They range from ‘track 8 glasses of water every day’ to ‘run 12 miles this week’ to read a chapter out of a new book.
You can also work a new year’s resolution into this. For example: Resolution to get fit!
You can start by saying go to the gym for a total of 2 hours this week or try water aerobics. And if you don’t make that goal, ask yourself why and adjust from there. You could either carry the goals over to the next week, cut it down or choose a different activity that could work toward the same purpose. But no matter what you do, never think to yourself what you could be doing if you had. That doesn’t matter. What matters is what you could do to make the goal more accessible to you.
Me time, EVERY DAY
Every morning, I make it a goal to stretch, pray & devotional and eat in the first two hours of my day every day (given that I didn’t wake up late and have to be somewhere in ten minutes). It took me a long time to stop feeling guilty about this, I can’t even tell you.
There’s nothing wrong to giving something your whole self (i.e. a project or a job) and everything you got. I don’t doubt that your works of passion aren’t worth it. But think of it this way: if you lose yourself into the thing you’re doing, you might stop why you’re doing it. That’s not something you want to forget. At the end of the day, the person you’re left with is yourself and you might as well get used to it.
Now, if you’re still not satisfied after a long trial and error, figure out why and adjust. It might be something that you’re missing OR you still haven’t figured out how to handle certain emotions or stressors. In either case, once you get your lead you’re that much closer to self satisfaction. You might need help, through another party, and that’s okay as long as you get there.
The point of this post is to encourage you to encourage yourself. For people like me, we get easily disheartened and the crux of it is easily ourselves. I want you to challenge yourself in this way. Check in with yourself, be realistic when you set an expectation and don’t freak out if you didn’t meet it. In a world that seems to be turning faster and faster every minute, self care is becoming increasingly more important. These are just some examples of how to do that in such a world.